Belonging is Everyone’s Job: Redefining the Role of Facilitator
In 2021, I volunteered in West Ghana leading sexual health, theater and mindfulness workshops for school-aged girls.
After nearly 4 weeks of teaching morning workshops with a strict curriculum handed to us by the program, the other volunteers and I were tired, not to mention hot, sticky and frustrated. Each of us was assigned to work with a group of about 10 girls between the ages of 8-16 years old for which we facilitated discussions about menstrual health. While some of the girls were ready and available to share and learn, others–particularly the younger girls–were shy, reserved, and hesitant.
This was unsurprising, of course, because talking about periods is taboo pretty much everywhere all of the time. Additionally, culturally speaking, this specific village in West Ghana holds particularly conservative views around menstruation, such as the belief that girls shouldn’t go to school or interact in any way near boys during their periods. While it most certainly isn’t our job as Westerners to impress our cultural values onto theirs as the “superior system,” we did hope to create a safe space for conversation, debunk menstruation myths they would otherwise be too afraid to ask their parents or teachers, and broaden their belief system to new possibilities about their changing bodies.
Still, we were hitting a wall. As facilitators, we were struggling to create dialogue in circles where the girls were self-conscious and resistant to participate.
On the last day of our workshop series, our supervisor was away. “Yes!” I thought, “Now is my chance.” I was pretty psyched about her absence, because for me, that meant we could deviate from our rigid program “scripts” and find creative ways to encourage the girls to feel more comfortable speaking freely. I’ve always known “breaking the rules” to be the secret ingredient to sparking belonging within live communal experiences (oh hey Drunk Yoga®). So, when we arrived at the school on our last morning with the girls, I huddled with my 5 fellow volunteers and said, “Hey, would you guys be open to starting our session with something new today? I have an idea.” Thankfully, they were totally on board.
With excitement, I brought all 40-50 Ghanaian girls in our program into a large circle where I explained that before we start the curriculum that day, we were going to play a game. (Play is the great equalizer, after all.)
I then proceeded to facilitate a laughter-inducing round of a game I learned at summer camp when I was 11 years old: “the imaginary ball game.” Here are the rules: The imaginary ball-holder tosses “the ball” to someone else in the circle of their choice. Immediately when the recipient catches “the ball,” it changes shape, weight and texture (Heavy? Light? Slippery? Bouncy? Prickly?), which they indicate only through their playful, theatrical reactions. It was a massive hit. The girls couldn’t contain their enthusiasm. What made the experience in more novel was that this was a “girls only” game. A certain level of “generous exclusion” as Priya Parker suggests, offers an even more effective environment for belonging within a gathering. See, usually, the boys are the ones who get to play the games at school. On this day, we saw the boys were only present when we caught them peaking their heads outside of their classrooms to see what all the fuss was about. #totalfomo
Immersed and fully engaged in the collective experience at hand, the girls were then open and ready to bring this energy into their participation in our “period convos” immediately after. After the game ended, we brought the girls back to their individual groups, and every volunteer facilitator experienced their most productive group discussion yet. Engaged, compassionate and eager to learn, volunteers and girls alike smoothly powered through the last of our material before we exchanged teary goodbyes post-session.
Moreover, walking back to base after we wrapped, the volunteers were electrified (as opposed to our usual feelings of exhaustion and frustration). By creating a space where each participant could be a facilitator of their own experience of safety (and subsequently, belonging) within the collective through play, our jobs became much easier. Kicking off our session with a game set up the conditions for our group members to feel accountable for their own sense of joy and belonging. This, in turn, enfranchised them with agency to actively participate, rather than passively observe and absorb material, lightening our load as leaders by breaking the 4th wall between ourselves as “teachers” and the girls as “students.”
As leaders, when we ignite conversation through individual engagement in group settings, we empower our community members to be facilitators of their own learning, redefining the role of facilitator as participant rather than leader, and shifting the responsibility of cultivating belonging to be everyone’s responsibility.
Here are 3 ways you can leverage the art of play to empower your community members as facilitators during your next gathering:
Start with a game. I don’t care how packed your agenda is or how much you have to cover during your weekly Zoom call, take 5 minutes to break the ice with a group game. Play levels the playing field (no pun intended), and gets folks off autopilot and into the present. In fact, play has been found to speed up learning, enhance productivity and increase job satisfaction. I assure you, your meeting will be more productive when you start with play and cultivate workplace belonging in the process.
Make the game accessible. Rules are boundaries, boundaries are safety, and it’s only when we feel safe can we experience belonging–crucial to workplace engagement. Choose a game with simple (almost childlike) rules that requires everyone’s engagement simultaneously…(no turn-taking). Need some ideas? Here’s a list of my favorites to get you started.
Let someone win. …Well, don’t let them. I mean, they have to earn it. What I mean is that one of the many reasons games are so effective in spicing up workplace engagement in group settings is that as human beings, we thrive on competition–(in a good way!) Healthy, structured competition has been found to improve self-esteem and foster joy and fulfillment. So, don’t just play with an imaginary ball for the heck of it…play to win, and be sure to collectively celebrate the imaginary-ball-champion at the end as another easy way to help your people feel seen, heard and acknowledged–(ahem, like they belong.)
So, the next time you facilitate a live group experience–whether it be a weekly team Zoom meeting or a sexual health workshop in West Africa–go off script, break the rules, and spark radical belonging by leveraging the art of play. If not purely for the sake of joy, then do it for the sake of productivity.
